It’s Christmas Time


Saish Satyal

            “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” From a religious point of view, this is the time of year which we associate with the birth of Jesus. Obviously, a school that is run by monks focuses very heavily on this. This is a time to spread joy and love all over the world. After thousands of years, God’s promise to Adam and Eve has been fulfilled and Jesus has finally come to redeem the world.

However, for many people in the world, Christmas isn’t really about Jesus. It is about getting rich in any way possible. Business owners adore Christmas because it is the biggest holiday of the year. The joy of billions of people around the world  is a very good source of profit. For a better image, imagine the Scream Extractor from Monsters Inc. However, instead of turning screams into energy for a city, they turn holiday cheer into dollar bills. This isn’t necessarily bad, but sometimes companies get too deep into it. They start advertising almost right after Halloween, which I consider very rude. As a lover of food, I take much offense on this blatant attack on my annual holiday. For example, Target has already begun sending out there Christmas gift catalogs in the mail! Not only businesses, but also families dive into the Christmas cheer almost immediately after Halloween. Thanksgiving is like the forgotten middle child. Almost everyone skips from the eldest child, Halloween, and immediately goes on to adoring the younger child, Christmas, and showering it with gifts. Poor Thanksgiving is left there, still celebrated as a national holiday, but celebrated without any cheer or anticipation. However, this article isn’t about Thanksgiving, it’s about Christmas.

          So, let’s move on to everyone’s favorite jolly old man, Santa Claus. It truly amazes me that Santa can go around the entire world in one night. Being a fan of Superman, I don’t doubt his abilities to fly quickly. What I doubt is his ability to go down every chimney in time. Someone with as big of a belly as Santa must have quite a bit of trouble going down the chimney, especially with a huge bag of gifts on his back. Not only that, he has to eat so many milk and cookies, he must have to go on a diet for the rest of the year. No wonder he loves Christmas! For some reason, the other countries of the world really think that Santa needs a drink. I mean really, his job is stressful. Ireland, Australia and Britain all leave him some type of alcoholic beverage! I don’t think he should be driving around at over 1500 miles per second completely intoxicated. One would assume that he takes his time to eat, but no. He has to gulp it down and deal with a horrific stomachache the next day. However, it should be fine; he has an entire year to recover. The thing that bugs me the most about Santa isn’t about him, it’s about the people of the world who work in aviation. Not everyone is home on Christmas Eve; some people who have very important jobs, such as monitoring the US Airspace. Therefore, I don’t understand how there isn’t a huge panic at the military bases of the USA when they see an unidentified object zooming over everyone’s homes at way over 1500 miles per second, stopping over each home for less than a minute. Assuming that they work on a shift system for Christmas, there should be panic anytime someone who has never worked the Christmas shift has to work it.

            However, all jokes aside, Christmas is an amazing time of the year, even if it doesn’t snow at all. There is a bit of a joyful spirit with everyone gathered in the living room opening presents, even with dark gray skies and cold sleet as far as the eye can see. Indeed, Christmas is truly the most wonderful time of the year. “I really do love the fact that Santa is drunk, flying around at thousands of miles an hour.”