Getting Along with Your Ex-GF: Top 5 Halloween Costumes for You and Your Former Love

(Image via Wikipedia)

(Image via Wikipedia)

Adam Hellinghausen, News Editor

Have you ever broken up with your girlfriend, or been dumped by her in the weeks before Halloween so you’re not sure what to do about the plans you made as a couple? Or maybe you broke up six months ago but you still feel like you can be friends? Here are some great Halloween costumes to wear with your ex to feel right at home again, just with much more awkward silence and misplaced anger, because you’ll never have what you had with her again.

The Harlem Globetrotters and Washington Generals

Everyone’s favorite lazy costume is already the sports jersey, so why not run with that? The Harlem Globetrotters are about as easy to forget about as the last embrace you had with your old flame; in other words, they’ll be in your mind for a long time. Take part in their history by donning the jersey! And the Washington Generals are their only rival, eternally locked in combat like when you asked your ex where she wanted to go for dinner. Everyone agrees that the Globetrotters won, but they put a lot of their heart on that court, only to have to leave it after such a short time, it almost seems like the Generals weren’t even trying to play the game.

George Washington and Benedict Arnold

Get political! You’ll see tons of Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders costumes this year, but why is there so few historical politics? George has a place in everyone’s heart, so it’ll be hard to fill that void by trying to be him yourself, but filling the void in your heart is something you’ll just have to get used to. As for her female Benedict Arnold costume, he may have been the worst traitor in American history, but I bet he never started dating your friend within months of you breaking up.

Count Ugolino and Archbishop Ruggieri

Sure, there might be no one at the party who gets the Dante reference, but this costume is more for you and her. Ugolino is famous for eating his children, much like you can stress the orange cream-filled Oreos at the party reminiscing on the children that you two will never have. Ruggieri is the perfect costume for your ex, because his deed was pretending to be someone he wasn’t, then turning out really really crazy! Then he murdered his best friend, breaking that trust that they held sacred, and that you really thought meant something more to her, but turned out to be a little one-sided.

Romeo and Juliet

What better way to heal the sadness than by dressing up as the most famous romantic couple? They may have been secret lovers, but I doubt Juliet ever had a problem with Romeo’s public displays of affection. Be careful around Shakespeare freaks, though, Juliet killed herself after she found out the Romeo had committed suicide, but your ex probably didn’t have the courtesy to do the same after ripping out your heart.

Winston Churchill and Marshal Petain

Maybe not the most wowing of all the costumes, this last one is my favorite for couples. You may not think of him as a classic costume, but Winston Churchill is one of the most respectable and well-liked historical figures. During World War II, his actions in England primarily responsible for the salvage of most of Europe, similar to how you tried really hard to save what you could of your broken heart after the fallout. And Marshal Petain is a great costume for your date: he was effeminate, had a sexy French accent, and gave up on the government of France in the middle of a world war, taking the easy way out and refusing to stick around and try to make it work, because if we’re being honest we had a really good thing going before you left.