Kattdaddy May

Why is this the first time you have graced us with your wisdom? Where have you been my whole life?

Submitted by Rihanna

Whenever I need comfort I turn to the Bible, and I ask you to do the same. Read Romans 9:20, It should provide you with the answers you seek. Perhaps your own song can help you cope…

What is your opinion of dogs?

Submitted by Bee A. Gle

Dogs. Creatures driven by pure instinct and food drive. Never closing the gap between cats/man and beast. Unfortunately, one can hardly blame them because they don’t have the higher capacities required to contribute meaningfully to the world around them. They, unlike some cats, never have time to write interesting articles to the Informer (something I recommend).

Do you advise studying for finals? Did you study when you were my age?

Submitted by Mothers Against Not Studying (MANS)

I would advise studying to all those who are not Kattdaddy. As a being of infinite wisdom, like myself, studying has become exceedingly tedious and #notworthit. And as an ageless being, I have never studied, because it all came and has always come to me.

What was your lowest grade on a test at school? (back when you were only a kitten)

Submitted by Bastet

School is only for those who need to learn (i.e. all of you reading this). As a timeless, all knowledgeable, jetpack-wearing, space cat, this is not necessary. But I will tell you an embarrassing story from my kitten years. As everyone knows, cats love yarn. However, being above the regular cat I instead love space laser yarn. Once, I ate the yarn and after it…passed through I chased it around, even though it had not yet come out (if ya know what I mean).

Strong in the force, are you? Be you must, for a speaking cat you are. Tell me, can you? Appreciate it I would. Another question I have. Why wear a purple hat do you? If answer my questions you can, strong in the force you must be.

Submitted by Yoda

First off, I am very upset that you do not remember me. When you died, I remember watching a star when a voice spoke to me saying “It surrounds us, binds us.” I then trained with my master, becoming a Jedi myself. However, the higher cat forces spoke to me and made me their champion. The force has served me well as the champion of cats though. The purple hat is a symbol of the power invested by the higher cat force. I have never lost it, not once. But if you happen to see it, contact me.