Ask Kattdaddy!

The Informer staff and their feline leader would like to clarify that any and all grammar mistakes in the questions are a fault of the questioner – NOT the questionee.

What is your favorite kind of dog?

Submitted by Cash Lechler

I’m sorry, but I do not have a favorite kind of garbage.

PUBG or Fortnite?

Submitted by a Bajillion People

Be more original next time. Seriously. Over 50% of my questions consisted of a comparison between these two games. But it’s long past time to settle this debate once and for all. The best battle royale game is… *drumroll please*… Minecraft Hunger Games.

What is your favorite food that all cats should like?

Submitted by “Prefers to remain anonymous for social security purposes”

The blood of my enemies. But only with a sufficient amount of catnip sprinkled on top.

Why is math so hard?

Submitted by the Kid with Bad Handwriting

Math is only as hard as you make it to be. So pretty dang hard for everybody then.

Why do we not have half-days every Friday?

Submitted by that same kid with bad handwriting  (get with the program, son)

We don’t have half-days every Friday because the school is against you. In fact, the world is against you. The world is a place of injustice, no matter how hard you struggle, some dreams never come true. The cosmos has stacked its cards against you and cheated you in every way. But don’t stop dreaming, and never stop believing.

What do you think of your job?

Submitted by Employer Dad

My job is a dream come true. I spend my time advising little younglings like you what to do with your life, knowing that you’ll mess it up anyway. It’s great.

Are you depressed?

Submitted by John Stigall

No, I’m not depressed. I’m Kattdaddy!

Who wins a fight: A gnome or a unicorn?

Submitted by Nate Stecklein

Gnomebody wins. Sorry if that joke was a bit unicorny.

What school did you go to?

Submitted by the kid who wasted an entire sheet of paper for these six words

The Academy for Gifted Felines. Never heard of it? I guess you’re not a gifted feline then.

Would Duke have beaten Villanova?

Submitted by Tarun Senthil Kumar

Probably not, Villanova has a great chess team.

Is Black Panter the best movie ever?

Submitted by Tarun Senthil Kumar

Many may think that the Black Panther misspelling is on the Informer Staff. Those people clearly didn’t read the disclaimer at the top. I don’t know. I’ve never seen Black Panter. But I did enjoy Black Panther.

O mighty Kattdaddy, what do you think about the baseball team of Cistercian?

Submitted by the kid with enormous handwriting

I think that they’re very good at doing the thing with the ball. We are very effective at getting points and we continue to get better and better and doing the thing with the ball.

What are your thoughts on cat stereotypes?

Submitted by Luke Pederson

Society has long had issues with discrimination and segregation of cats. People call themselves a “cat person,” but they don’t know what it’s like to face all these struggles on a daily basis. To be unable to sit on a laptop in peace is a right that has been violated for far too long. #StopCatAbuse

What do you think is the meaning of life?

Submitted by Luke Pederson, again

Clearly, someone needs an enormous supercomputer named Deep Thought.