Garbage Guru, Vol. 9

Michael Farr: The problem with the economy is that there are too many poor people 

As an editorial for CNBC, this article was far too good not to include in this. Yes, Michael, that’s been the problem for a long time. I’m glad you’ve caught on! It’s shocking, isn’t it, that perhaps our problem is that there aren’t enough people actually benefiting from our explosive economy? In reality, Mr. Farr (the CEO of a financial consulting firm in DC) makes a lot of legitimate points, including advocating for more government spending to increase consumer spending. But WOW, to have someone in his position write this headline is a level of hilarity I haven’t seen in a while.

Poisoned opposition leader Alexei Navalny demands that Russia give his clothes back

I hate the Russians so much. I mean, I understand attempting to poison your political rivals; I’ve done it multiple times. But to keep their clothes while you’re at it? That’s a level of cruelty that even I don’t dare stoop to. Of course, as with every article that this series covers, the reality is a lot more serious. Russia is a suppressive authoritarian state, and the fact that Mr. Navalny had to be treated in Germany because he was afraid for his life should be a chilling fact; that’s why it should be so disturbing that the USA hasn’t condemned these Russian actions or petitioned for some kind of investigation yet. He also needs his clothes back to build some kind of case that the official government poisoned him since right now, all we’ve got is a gut feeling, which doesn’t hold up in court.

Lindsey Graham says Black people can ‘go anywhere’ in South Carolina if conservative

I should clarify Lindsey Graham’s comments to make this sound less racist. When he says “go anywhere,” he means in terms of power and success. His comments also don’t just apply to Black people; they apply to Brown people and immigrants too! Oh, the context doesn’t really help it that much? He still sounds racist? Well, you’ve got to remember that this man referred to segregation as “the good old days” in a Senate confirmation hearing! I’m still holding out hope that he was being sarcastic when he said “good old days,” but the video does him no favors. His tone doesn’t change, and the context doesn’t call for that type of joke, if it was a joke. I will be very angry if Jaime Harrison doesn’t give him the beating of a lifetime this Election Week.

Former Twitter CEO says some capitalists ‘going to be the first’ to be ‘shot in the revolution’

That’s a brutal statement, I won’t lie; he says they’re going to be lined up against a wall. Twitter hasn’t even taken the tweet down yet (controversy is good for business, I suppose). However, I want to focus on the fact that the FORMER CEO OF TWITTER said this. Sir, you’re a capitalist too! You have also profited from the parasite that we call “the social media industry!” Why would you think you’re exempt? The context of his tweets happens to be him explaining that companies cannot separate themselves from society and pretend that their actions have no consequences (which is true). He seems angry at social media companies for allowing garbage to be spewed on their platforms (Facebook, we’re all looking at you) while pretending to protect “the First Amendment.” Once again, he’s right! If he’d just NOT written the murderous Stalinist part of his tweet, then we’d have gotten along.