[Note from the EIC, IN ITALICS BEFORE ARTICLE]
Hello, Cistercian student body! It’s your favorite Editor-in-Chief, here to tell you about what you’re about to read.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed–the administration does a really good job of hiding it–but Cistercian is a school run primarily by a group of celibate Cistercian monks. Each monk has sacrificed wealth, power, family, and any semblance of a normal life, all to follow their God-given vocation through living a humble existence dedicated to prayer, work, and service. It’s inspiring, it’s beautiful, and it’s a great example to the rest of us of true sacrifice for the sake of Christ.
Unfortunately, it also means that we spend most of our time around dudes who live and work only with other dudes, which can make relationships with girls (who, fun fact, are not dudes) hard to navigate. Enter the kind-hearted folks at the Cistercian Informer, who have asked Kristin Joseph, a junior at Great Hearts Irving, to give her expert advice to the rest of us on any girl-related topic our readers’ confused little brains can muster. She has consulted with an expert panel of friends to give her insight on 7 anonymous, reader-submitted questions. Take it away, Kristin!
What clothes do guys wear that give you the ick?
Ridiculously long shorts, excessive jewelry, etc. And I know it’s not clothing, but it’s just as if not more important–stay away from buzz cuts and mullets. Facial hair can sometimes work, but clean shaven is safer.
Good conversation starters for a girl?
Favorite shows, singers, books, hobbies, sports, that sort of thing. They might be generic questions, but they’re used so often for a reason. Try and find something she’s passionate about, and once you do, act super interested. Just remember it helps if the interest is genuine–she can tell after a certain point if you don’t actually think Gilmore Girls is the best thing since sliced bread.
What makes a good Hoco ask?
Two main things:
- Don’t ask over text. It’s brave to ask in person, fine but not ideal to ask over the phone, but asking over text only hurts your case. If she says no, her loss!
- Personalize as much as you can. Theme the ask after her hobbies, her favorite TV show, her favorite singer. What will make her feel special? What will she be touched that you remembered about her? So you say you’re not a good artist? With all due respect, so what? At the end of the day, all she’ll remember is how you went out of your way for her.
What kinds of jokes to girls find funny?
This is pretty subjective, but stay away from crass jokes/humor. Also, if you think you have to become someone else around her to get her interest, that’s a fake relationship and it’s not worth it. So yes, go ahead and laugh, but ‘stay true to yourself’ is actually decent advice.
If she likes you
It’s usually pretty obvious. If you’re too biased to judge for yourself either way, ask you friends to watch the two of you together and judge. Does she act differently around you than with other guys, *and remember the little details you mention. Does she laugh at your jokes even if they’re not that funny (that part might be hard to tell since it happens so rarely)?
Tips on how to be a better boyfriend?
Two things again:
- Empathy, empathy, empathy! And I know that might be a foreign term for some of you, so I’ll define it. LISTEN and do your best to be there for her. Of course, to be able to do that, you’ve got to know what makes her tick. Is her mood off? Is she mad? Sad? And make sure you know what stresses her out and/or (but preferably and) what puts her in a good mood. Remember; sometimes when she tells you things, she isn’t looking for advice, she just needs to vent and wants someone to listen. Maybe you think that’s boring and pointless but come on, if she tries to be interested in sports for your sake, the least you can do is pretend to care about who sat with who at lunch today! If it matters to her, it matters to you. The more you hate K-pop the more touched she’ll be that you listened to it for her.
- Respect her boundaries. Take it slow. Don’t think that you need to make your girlfriend your world in order to be a good boyfriend. She has other roles and responsibilities besides being a girlfriend–she’s also a student, friend, and daughter. Even if it’s easier for you both to forget that and focus entirely on each other, you’ll both be happier and more well balanced if you don’t.
- What is the proper response when a girl tells you about something that you don’t really care about? (e.g. dress shopping)
To be completely honest? Just pretend to be interested. How would you feel if you started telling her about your beloved fantasy football team (because obviously that’s very interesting) and she started tuning you out? But once there’s a pause in the conversation, feel free to change the subject.
[IN ITALICS AT END; If you’d like to have your question answered in a future issue, email [email protected]. Your question will be anonymously passed on to Kristin. Total anonymity and secrecy guaranteed.]
