This year marks Mr. Humphries’ 20th teaching at Cistercian. To mark this impressive milestone, we have asked him to compile a list of the 20 most valuable nuggets of scholarly wisdom gleaned in that time.
“Bring your own chalk and make your copies the day before.”- advice from Fr. Denis before my first day teaching
“Here’s the coffee pot; you can even take a cup with you when you leave.” – Fr. Peter’s words before I started teaching part time
“The rest is learned through suffering.” -advice from Fr. Denis my 3rd year teaching
“I can’t read your writing on the board.” Fr. Peter from the back of the classroom
“Your writing on the board is much larger than mine.”- Fr. Peter from the front of the classroom
“No corporal punishment is allowed.”- Fr. Peter while pulling a fourth former by the hair and doing lunges.
“Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.” Coach Bruce to the fourth formers.
“They always get the grade I think they will…even if they don’t.” – Fr. Bernard on how to curve exam grades up or down.
“Why would you study one thing to help you remember another thing?” -Fr. Denis on using mnemonic devices or memory aides
“The sine curve looks just like a serpent leaning down from the tree when he tempted Eve to the first sin.” -Fr. Denis on how to remember the difference between sine and cosine graphs.
“You should start studying yesterday or maybe sooner.”- Mr. Mehen on exam preparation timing
“You’re not smart enough to go to college.”-college advisor to Lawrence Frederick senior year
“Now that you’ve quit working for NASA would you consider teaching here” – principal to then Father Lawrence Frederick 20 years after graduation. He said yes and taught Mr. Haaser, Mr. Humphries, and is still chaplain at that same high school.
“The most important thing to know about this test is that you can fail it.” – Chairman of the philosophy department to my entire class prior to comprehensive exams.
“Don’t worry. If you fail, we might let you try again.” -Math professor to me 5 minutes before my comprehensive exam
“Do not enter, you who are ignorant of Geometry.” -Aristotle to all potential students
“Not many…French doesn’t count because I only learned enough to write that book” Fr. Denis when asked how many languages he knew.
“If once I’ve said, then one thousand times I’ve said it, ‘I don’t repeat myself.’” – Fr. Julius to Form I
“I do not have enough front and center seats for all the boys who need it.” -Fr. Bernard on Form II
“If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” -The only lesson I learned in sports that doesn’t really apply to the classroom.
