Ask KattDaddy!

What’s your favorite movie?

Submitted Anonymously

In all my life as the eternal KattDaddy, the best movie I had ever laid eyes upon is the Cat in the Hat, with Mike Myers as the legendary anthropomorphic feline himself.

Can you PROVE 2 + 2 = 5?

Submitted By An Erroneous Mathematician

A: Oh please, I do not waste such precious moments of my time with the irksome studies of logarithms. Next question.

When will the world end?

Submitted by John Koestler

A: It is destined that when the eight planets align I KattDaddy, will cough up a humongous monster hairball which will collide with earth. It’s not you, it’s me. Be grateful I warned you, so that your last few days will be cherished unlike right now…

Who are your parents? 

Submitted by Lewis Robinson

I have no parents. I simply entered reality through my own self. You can say I am my own father.

Your name suggests that you are a father. What’s your son’s name?

Submitted by Holly Burns

I do have a son, KitKat, although he isn’t in your reality right now. To you, he doesn’t exist. But he does, somewhere in the depths of an alternate reality.

Cheetos or Fritos?

Submitted by Chester

Neither, in another universe, there exists such a thing as Freetos. They are a hybrid of both foods, they are supreme in flavor to both Cheetos and Fritos. Why hasn’t anyone in this universe created them yet? It’s so simple.

Pokemon Go or Minecraft?

Submitted by Jakob Liu, ’26

Neither, Roblox conquers all.

Is there a KattMommy or are you one of a kind?

Submitted by Taylor Mackey, ’25 Form II

There is no KattMommy. I’m currently on the hunt for one. I love my new dating app, Purrfect 2Gether. I’ll update you soon.

Why do you think floods happen? 

Submitted by Rose Dawson

Well, a flood occurs when water overflows or inundates land that’s normally dry. This can happen in a multitude of ways. Most common is when rivers or streams overflow their banks. That’s what some person told me way back when… but that’s NOT TRUE. Deep inside the ground sewage pipes all over the world break. It usually happens when a toilet gets clogged and thus water gushes out of the ground causing floods.

How are cats better than dogs?

Submitted by Michael Menerey, ’25

You know, I dream of a day that dogs and cats put aside their differences and ally against their true enemy… HUMANS. Then THEY can rule the world with an iron fist… but because dogs are dumb they fall for the traps of “human comfort” like AC, food, couches, Netflix, etc. Cats want to be free, that’s why they love to roam the world by themselves. But what do I know? … I’m just some entity from the depths of space.

What is your favorite flavor of mouse? 

Submitted by Alfredo Linguini Gusteau

Mouse à la crème! Oh, it’s to die for! I have my own secret recipe for it. I’ll be kind and tell you the major ingredient: one young mouse with golden fur. It’s hidden but if you order a huge stack of gold cheese it’ll come for sure.