Hoco Horror Story


Saish Satyal, Writer

Homecoming is a seemingly magical time. After hours of hard work, the finished product is truly amazing and fun. However, even if your homecoming experience is like mine, it’s still fun. Because, let’s be honest, it’s homecoming. It should be fun.  Anyway, let’s get on to this gold mine of a story. My experience started with my uncle driving my date and I to the park near my house. That sounds fun, right? It was a beautiful park and the photo shoot was great, except for the fact that my uncle left us there. He forgot that we had to go to iFratelli’s, so I was now stranded with my date at a random park. So, that was really nice and embarrassing.  Luckily, a friend took us to the restaurant. Now, this sounds bad enough, right? This was the least embarrassing thing that happened to me that night. At the restaurant, I accidentally got sauce on my date. (Honestly, I don’t know why I’m writing this. This is actually the worst idea ever.) Anyway, it was just a drop, but it was still mortifying. Now, it would have been fine if only a few people noticed. Instead, it happened when the whole table was looking at me. So, in a few minutes, I had almost half of the class asking me about the sauce incident. Now, you might be thinking, “Gee, this really can’t get worse, can it?” Boy, are you in for a ride! Now, knowing my luck, I really should have expected it. I don’t want to get into the details because it was terrifying. But, let’s just say that something ripped.

Was I mortified? Yes. Did anyone notice? Surprisingly, no. Two whole hours of dancing and no one noticed anything was wrong, which I think was amazing on my part. So, I spent most of homecoming trying to make sure no one noticed anything was wrong with me. To do that, I had to dance. Dancing also meant a higher chance of the incident being discovered. It was quite stressful. It shouldn’t get worse than this, but it does. A little bit after my unfortunate incident happening, someone got broken up with. It was only a rumor, but the person heard it and was upset. One of the curses of being the Dad-Friend™ is that you must deal with these problems. Now, this wasn’t as big of a problem as my other one, but it also took up quite a bit of time. However, although this sounds absolutely horrifying, it was actually really fun. I still got to dance and sing quite a bit, so it was a success. The best part was when I got to slow dance in a circle with about five people because our dates didn’t want to dance or because they left.



Q: Dude, are you lying? There is no way this could be true!

A: I wish I were lying. There is probably a way you could make this up, but I have witnesses to confirm that this is all true.

Q: Most of this seems to be your fault.

A: First, this is an observation. Second, I get to complain even if it is my fault!

Q:Are you okay?

A: No. Help me 🙂